The “Authentic Self”
We all enter this world as vulnerable, emotional, self-aware little humans. We know our needs and aren’t afraid to ask (or cry out as babies) for them. The self we are when we are born is our authentic self.
There is no way that our caregivers can respond to our needs at every turn - and that is okay. What starts to happen, however, is we hold back on asking for what we need. We cover up some of our authentic self from a very early age to fit into our families and to get our most pressing needs met. When dad is upset, we learn to stay small and quiet and out of his way. When mom yells, we tell ourselves that we must be bad. This creates our roadmap for life. When we are 0-6 years old, our developing brains don’t think, “Dad must be upset because his boss was mean to him today and that’s why he’s angry - it’s not about me.” We don’t have discernment.
At about age 7, our ego comes online. We individuate. In our need to fit in with our family, community, and society we turn further away from our authentic selves and layer on masks and protective parts to fit in. During adolescence, our authentic self is quieted by our ego for survival. This is part of the human experience.
Why then do we care about finding our authentic selves?
Our authentic self is the self that came here to have a human experience. It is our true nature.
With help, we can find and live from our authentic selves. Living from our authentic self is when we honor our needs, live in the present moment, allow ourselves to be seen, and see the world from a place of wholeness. It may not have been modeled for us. Day to day, we may not see others living from their authentic selves. This is an inward journey we must take, a journey of self-love and discovery to find our truth.
What is your authentic self? What do they look like? What do they want to say? Where are they held back? Have you had moments where you embodied your authentic self? What was happening to you at that time? Ask yourself these questions. Journal or draw out your authentic self. For they are within you, ready to be discovered.
Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified life coach, intuitive guide, blogger (yep, you’re reading it right now), and entrepreneur. She helps women who have “made it” on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can find joy in their lives, kids, and families. Get her free guide: Slowing Down: 9 Steps to Live With Intention to start meaning it when you say you’re doing fine.
