Four ways to find the contentment you deserve
Lower Lake in Shaker Heights. One of my happy places :)
What does it mean to be content? How does contentment feel in your body? What happens outside of you and inside of you to trigger contentment? I have been thinking about contentment as I navigate new feelings and awareness around comfort, consumerism, gratitude, and having an abundance mindset. This stems from my reflections on how my word of the year, ease, is going. Contentment is beautiful because it is a hum of joy and appreciation from within, not from the external world.
Take a deep breath, and imagine feeling truly content. You might notice:
A sense of calm washing over your body
Your breath becomes deeper and slower
Warmth in your heart space
The muscles across your face and behind your eyes relaxing
A feeling of lightness and ease.
However busy or stressful your life may feel day-to-day, you deserve to find contentment in things big and small. Here I explore four areas of life that can offer you a chance to practice contentment:
Comfort
We are drawn towards comfort. If something is comfortable, from your couch to a hammock in your backyard, you will seek it out. When I pick out my clothes in the morning, I go for what will feel most free and comfortable. Consciously or not, we seek people, things, foods, and experiences that make us comfortable. This does not mean we are lazy. But when we want to push ourselves to try something new, it is a good idea to find moments of comfort while we do it. That might mean going with a friend to a networking event, or listening to a favorite song before you make a call you’re dreading. By leaning into what’s comfortable, we can find contentment in more situations - and this can expand our comfort zone.
Consumerism
We live in a consumer culture. Stuff is held in high esteem. Whether we are conscious about it or not, we are taught that having more and the best things gives us more value. Even if I personally don’t want to believe that and have bucked the trends to try and live more simply, these messages live in our bones. They are embedded in our subconscious. We must address them if we are to find more contentment in our lives. I’m not saying we need to give up on having nice things. But we can approach our purchasing and consuming from a grounded place.
What do you have that you don’t need? What can you stop buying that you won’t even miss? I love Marie Kondo’s method of holding each item you own, noticing if it sparks joy, thanking it and giving it away if it doesn’t. You will truly find more contentment if you find joy in the things you own and keep in your home. Here are some things to consider when you buy stuff:
When you’re shopping, at a store or online, ask yourself: "Do I need this?" "Will I want this in 6 months?” “Does this add value to my life?”
Focus on experiences over possessions
Declutter and donate, recycle, or throw away things you don’t need
Find a home for things you want to keep.
Gratitude
Gratitude breeds contentment. When we are grateful, we are telling ourselves and the universe that we appreciate it. Right now, place your hand on your heart and think of three things you are grateful for. It might be the ability to read this and do something that just might elevate your life. The time to stop and deliberately do something for yourself. The device you’re reading this on, or the chair you’re curled up in, or this break in your day. Notice what you’re grateful for and then notice how that thing makes you feel. Here are some ideas for bringing more gratitude into your life:
Start saying three things you’re grateful for each morning
Take a gratitude walk and notice and appreciate your surroundings
Thank the people in your life and let them know you are grateful for them
Even when you face an obstacle, try practicing gratitude for the lesson you just might learn.
Abundance Mindset
We live in a culture of scarcity. Most of us, consciously or subconsciously, believe that there is only so much to go around. We think if we take, others lose. Operating in a scarcity mindset keeps us in a low, stuck frequency. We aren’t as happy for others when they are successful. We think small. Our hearts are closed off because we think there is only so much love to go around. Abundance, however, is like dancing freely in a field of wildflowers. There is enough for everyone. We can celebrate others' successes. Ask yourself:
Is it easy for me to feel happy for others?
Do I have enough love for all of the people in my life?
Do I feel excited about my future?
Do I learn from my mistakes?
There is no judgment here. These answers help you see where your mindset is on the scale of scarcity to abundance.
Contentment is the antidote to judgment, envy, and comparison. Is there an aspect of your life you’re content with? Maybe it’s the way you organize your pantry or how clean you keep your car. Maybe it’s the pile of books on your nightstand or your vegetable garden. We can practice contentment to get more of it in our lives. We can be content when we move towards embracing comfort even in the face of hard things, are intentional about how we consume, are grateful, and approach life with an abundance mindset.
If you want guidance as you explore contentment, please reach out to me. I am available for a free introductory 45-minute session.
Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified life coach, intuitive guide, blogger (yep, you’re reading it right now), and entrepreneur. She helps women who have “made it” on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can find joy in their lives, kids, and families. Get her free guide: Slowing Down: 9 Steps to Live With Intention to start meaning it when you say you’re doing fine.
