Why you feel disconnected and how to come back to yourself
That’s me, 36 weeks pregnant with my daughter. I didn’t know it then, but I was disconnected from myself in early motherhood. 📷 Credit to Kirsten Love
I know what it’s like to feel disconnected.
When I had my daughter in 2012, I did everything I thought I was supposed to do. I read parenting books, followed the experts, joined mom groups on Facebook, and listened to parenting podcasts. I took advice from family and friends. I was doing everything right, and I still found early motherhood hard.
What made it even harder was that I didn’t know who I was. I had lived on autopilot for most of my life. I went through the motions, doing everything I thought I should. I loved my daughter and husband, but I couldn't fully enjoy them because I was so disconnected from myself. This showed up as a constant critical inner voice, self-doubt, ruminating thoughts, a pit in my stomach, tightness in my chest, and trouble taking deep breaths. Somewhere along the way, I had handed over my intuition and inner voice. Outside opinions and ideas drowned out my own.
When I welcomed my son in 2014, I knew something had to change. It took until 2020, when I found The Adult Chair® podcast. It woke me up. The teachings about self-love, listening to my intuition, and feeling my feelings cracked me open. Slowly, the voices in my head quieted. I stopped looking outside myself for the answers and started listening to my inner voice.
Disconnection happens quietly, and it can happen to us all
Numbness, doubt, or being overwhelmed doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It usually means you’ve been giving so much to everyone else that you have disconnected from yourself. Or maybe you don’t have the tools to know yourself enough to connect to yourself. Disconnection can happen when we override our needs, suppress our emotions, or live in constant doing mode.
But here’s the truth:
You can come back to yourself.
You can reconnect with your intuition, your joy, your truth.
And it doesn’t require a dramatic life overhaul. It starts with the awareness that something is off and the desire to make a change.
Then, reconnection happens in small moments:
Pausing to ask yourself how you’re really doing.
Making a choice that feels good, even if it doesn’t make sense.
Feeling your feelings instead of pushing them down.
Trusting your quiet inner voice.
If you’ve been feeling disconnected, numb, stuck, or like you’re living someone else’s life, I want you to know: you’re not alone. And you don’t have to find your way back on your own.
This work has changed my life, and now, as a Certified Adult Chair® Coach, I help moms like you come home to themselves. Together, we can clear the noise, reconnect to what matters, and help you enjoy your life as a mom.
If you're ready to take that first small step, let’s talk.
Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified life coach, intuitive guide, writer, and entrepreneur. She helps women who have “made it” on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can find joy in their lives, kids, and families. Get her free guide: Slowing Down: 9 Steps to Live With Intention to start meaning it when you say you’re doing fine.
